Sometimes we change and we don't even know it

Now as a 23 year old, I still have the same heart and mind as I did as a kid, as far as I remember. No birthday has ever felt any different. I've never actually felt older. It's not until we actually look back do we see how much we've grown.

I don't know, but this really got to me. I was trying to look for an old email in my Gmail and as I typed up keywords, a bunch of emails resulted. I opened one just to read it and it was from the beginning of 2005. I was ranting to a friend about how difficult my semester was at Tech. It was my spring semester of Freshmen year. It was during a particular weekend where not only was I sick, but I was so emotionally caught up with the stress that apparently I cried all weekend. I was upset with my parents and Sunday came around where I'd leave that evening to head back up to my dorm. My mom said to stay for dinner first and I refused. My dad said "Bye" to me (I was upset with him) and I didn't bother to say "Goodbye" back and just left.

I read that email and I just couldn't believe it! Not only do I have NO RECOLLECTION of that moment at all, but I just can't imagine myself being so rude to my parents like that today! And you always watch in movies/shows how it's during the teenage years where you're least appreciative of your parents because you're growing and experiencing the world, wanting to do your own thing. As I've grown older, I've been more and more appreciative of my parents, and it'll only grow more and more. I just couldn't believe my actions in that email. Like really, WOW! Bad, Jacinta!

I like reading back on old things. I can't believe I threw away my first diary because I was so embarrassed by my writings. I even deleted my first xanga too. Geez, I was dumb back then. Anyway, I guess I'm just glad that I realized that I've shown more respect towards my parents as I've grown older. Hope they realize it tooooo.